It'd been a while since I had a night off. It felt like years.
I was excited for my date night; relief was coming.
That day I had a bunch of errands to do, grocery shopping, house cleaning, so it was busy. All five kids in tow, we plodded our way through the wal-Marts - bathroom breaks, junk food requests, the usual chimes of "I hate this store" (by my kids, not me). Through it all, I had the chorus of this song in my head. And I sang it everywhere. Out loud.
Bless the Lord, O My Soul,
O My Soul.
Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before,
O my soul, Worship his holy name.
Just the chorus. I sang it in the bathroom while waiting for kids. I sang it walking down the isles. In the car. Over and over and over again. It's soothing, but it also evokes something. It calls out, like a request and proclamation all at once. Bless the Lord, O my Soul.
All night I sang it. While picking up toys, folding laundry, vacuuming, making supper. The sitter came, and I went on my merry way, still singing this song. In the restaurant, in the car, all the places I went.
I sort of made some rules for myself in regards to date night. To be by myself. To do something relaxing - not a night filled with errands. To give myself opportunity to feel, process, mourn, scream, cry, sleep, sing, dance, or whatever it is I NEED to do to feed my soul and my spirit, to process emotions, to find rest for my weary self.
On my date night, I went to a local pub for some supper, patio time, and a little book study reading. I enjoyed myself. I soaked in the silence despite the distractions. I reveled in sitting. I eavesdropped and people watched. I looked at light and shadows.
This song is still seeping out of my soul and my mouth.
When I got home, I went to my envelope to get the babysitter money, and I took out the card that was included. This is the front of the card:
If that's not a confirmation that I'm on the right path and that God is paving the way, then I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
Since the song I had been singing all day and the card I received was this very bit from Psalm 103, I felt compelled to look it up.
103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
It felt like obedience. And blessing, provision (not so much monetary but by providing what I need - rest), and answered prayer.
I like being obedient. It feels good.
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