I consider this blog rather private. I don't tell many people about it, and though you can see it on my Blogger profile, most people don't check that. I use this as a place to process some very deep stuff within myself, and writing is, at times, cathartic for me, helps draw things out.
On my last post, which was one such type of post, I linked up to another blog by a writer who has done the same in her space, of baring it all, so to speak. Who was asking people to share stories of brokenness and/or mending. And so I did.
That particular post of mine got 99 views. And only one comment. One comment from a friend who I asked specifically if she would read the post as I had talked to her about my struggles.
Now, I'm not doing this for the comments. Heaven knows, cuz I don't ever get any. Which is fine. I'm really ok with that. But, when almost one hundred people read something you've written and no one says anything, it sort of makes you feel a little like a freak show, imagining that people are out there going "OMG! That chick is crazy / needs antidepressants / is self absorbed / is the worst Christian ever." Whatever. The imagination can really go places. Not-commenting leads me to the feeling that no one is experiencing or has experienced that same inner dilemma. Really? No one? I'm the only one with screwed up priorities?
And, there's one particular person, based on my view tracker, from my area, who checks this blog almost daily, or at least a few times a week.
WHO ARE YOU?
What say you? I am a person who appreciates feedback, even if it's not of the fluffy, make-you-feel-good sort, as long as it's honest and done in kindness. I value friends who can be honest with me, even and especially, when it's uncomfortable (for the both of us), because that shows me you care enough not to let me wallow in my crap. And for the record, I'm preferential to not wallowing.
So maybe, if you don't want to speak up and make yourself less of a stalker known, then you should just kindly delete my website from your bookmark list.
I'm not interested in being a freak show. Having 5 kids gets me enough of that.
Or, you could weigh in, because I value what you have to say.
Thanks.
