Truth?

Do you really want to know the truth? the ugly, unhappy, messed-up, straight-up, not what you thought, might shake your reality, truth?

Yes, Elvis is still dead.

No, PeeWee Herman is no less weird.

I'm a truth teller. A tell-it-like-it-is person. Straight up, no bones, and I'm sorry if you don't like it kinda girl. When I get in an argument, I tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth and certainly not covered by grace truth. Nope. Not covered by grace at all. 

When I'm not mad, or hurt, well, I still tell the truth, but I try to meter it with grace. In this I find I am largely unsuccessful.

Do people not want to know the truth? How much truth is too much? Is there too much truth? God's truth? No. My truth? haha. well. Probably. But still I think, no.

A truth I have had a hard time learning is that many people do not want truth. I don't get that. It seems so unhealthy, all those misconceptions and lies and falsehoods to believe. Why not know the truth and deal with it? Life sucks, but at least you know it's real. 

I would so much rather someone tell me the truth. The If I see your kid outside naked one more time I'm calling CPS truth. That my daughter's friends dad said... instead of "someone around the campfire was talking and heard... No. I want to hear it, from the source. Don't talk behind my back, don't twist it so it doesn't make you look like you weren't gossiping. Just tell me the damned truth. 

But again, most people are afraid of telling the truth. It might hurt, they might hurt someone's feelings. *rolls eyes* Because eventually, not only does the truth come out, but the fact that you feel betrayed that people didn't tell you the truth, that you feel lied to... that hurts. Worse than the truth itself, I think.

I teach my kids to tell the truth. It's hard to teach that. You basically have to just do it. Never lie to your kids. Don't make promises you can't keep, don't say extraordinary things you don't really mean or could never follow through on, good or bad, and don't tell them un-truths just to make the truth softer. It gives your words less value. Words that don't have worth in parenting is bad. Because then even the good things you say they have a hard time believing.

Frankly, I just don't understand why anyone would lie or teach their children to lie. It makes no sense to me. It seems like a lot of work and it creates way too much drama. Because lies build, and lies are unstable. Who wants unstable children? Parenting is hard enough without that.

With adults, I think it's sometimes easier to tell the truth, because you don't have to worry as much about explaining deep concepts or telling details that they may not be able to handle. Not always the case, but generally. Like, it's hard to explain things like alcoholism, depression, divorce, death, sex. You know, light topics. With children, you need to tell only what they can handle, bit by bit, without a lot of details. If they ask questions, answer them. Do not print out diagrams and drawings of positions and anatomy from online to explain to an 8 year old about sex. Too much unnecessary infomation. But what about teenagers? They're stuck in that awkward phase of being able to understand infomation on a sort of intellectual level, but lack a total understanding of worldly influence and implications, consequences and reasoning, much less how to deal with it all in terms of how they should feel about it. Plus, teens are still in that idealistic phase, while being introduced to the harsh realities of life, and it can be a little much to take. 

So how do you know? How do you know how much truth to tell? How much is excess? How much is just for your benefit?

The truth will set you free? Or will it just make a mess messier?