Have you ever had one of those days where you just cried seemingly for no reason? Where you feel tired, and incapable, wrong and wrung? I feel depleted. A failure at many things; successful at no things. Guilty about I don't know what.
No, it's not PMS.
It's being tired. It's the end of the summer. It's needing a massage. It's busy-ness, it's pain. It's needing a break but wanting to stay at home. It's loving my children but wishing the would be quiet and leave me alone for tenhundred effin stinkin' minutes. It's needing a date night and the full lavished attention of my husband.
Maybe that's not what it is. Maybe it's something else. Maybe I don't know what it is. Maybe it's "birthing" something spiritually. Maybe it's mourning. (Can you have PPD when you were only prego 8 weeks?) Maybe it's too many cupcakes and not enough carrots. Maybe I need a year's vacation. I'd settle for a nap.
I'm a crier anyway. Something my husband has a hard time with - emotion. (Boy, did God plan to change something in him by fixing us up together.) So me crying isn't exactly novel. But when a day or two is like this, I guess I wonder what's up.
I made up this saying about how when you clean house, you use a lot of water. So when I'm crying, it's just God cleaning house.
Whatever. It justifies the waterworks. I've learned to be not so self conscious about it. I have no control anyway.
Is this a dumb post?
Any why is it that when someone asks "how are you doing" it's overwhelming? The surge of emotions is overwhelming. Thank you for asking. "you know what I'm talking about."
Am I being too transparent here? Too moody? Too real? Too boring?
No, it's not PMS.
It's being tired. It's the end of the summer. It's needing a massage. It's busy-ness, it's pain. It's needing a break but wanting to stay at home. It's loving my children but wishing the would be quiet and leave me alone for ten
Maybe that's not what it is. Maybe it's something else. Maybe I don't know what it is. Maybe it's "birthing" something spiritually. Maybe it's mourning. (Can you have PPD when you were only prego 8 weeks?) Maybe it's too many cupcakes and not enough carrots. Maybe I need a year's vacation. I'd settle for a nap.
I'm a crier anyway. Something my husband has a hard time with - emotion. (Boy, did God plan to change something in him by fixing us up together.) So me crying isn't exactly novel. But when a day or two is like this, I guess I wonder what's up.
I made up this saying about how when you clean house, you use a lot of water. So when I'm crying, it's just God cleaning house.
Whatever. It justifies the waterworks. I've learned to be not so self conscious about it. I have no control anyway.
Is this a dumb post?
Any why is it that when someone asks "how are you doing" it's overwhelming? The surge of emotions is overwhelming. Thank you for asking. "you know what I'm talking about."
Am I being too transparent here? Too moody? Too real? Too boring?
Maybe this is like one of those things you shouldn't do, like drunk dialing. No blogging when emotional.
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