Backwards

I had a semi-intense discussion with my husband about tithing over the weekend.

When I think about tithing, I sort of doing it in order to receive his blessings. Like an insurance payment that he'll take care of us, prevent bad stuff from happening, make things go smoother.

Yes, I realize that's wrong thinking. (I did say "sort of" so I also know and do it for right reasons, too.)

This week has certainly not added up to great; my insurance payment idea didn't work.

A friend went psycho on me, producing a rise of anger in me, which then overflows to areas it should NOT. My kids have gotten sick, thus preventing me from seeing a friend from out-of-town. My kid kinda lost his new shoes. There was a major snafoo in the checkbook. (Fortunately, I didn't pay the water bill - check's still in my pocket - so I don't think we'll bounce, but I can't find an important receipt to actually know for sure, and the charge hasn't come through yet. :P ) And I slammed my ankle with the car door Tuesday, and it still hurts.

Oh, and my dad found out he has some sort of crazy disease (to add to the list of all the other ailments and diseases he already has) which will make a very much needed surgery much much more challenging, if it can be done at all. It's really hard to watch your parent/s suffer.

There's more, but I'm tired of thinking about it.

Today has not been a good day so far, and it has me wondering, thinking. Thinking about my wrong thinking. Wondering how much more can I take? How much more is there? When will my help come?

It's hard to be thankful sometimes. Today is one of those days when I have to be thankful for the basics, like health and breath and my family that makes me whack-o.

Oh, hey. I know.... Dillon hasn't crapped his pants in 2 days. That's good.