Spring

When the problems before you seem to loom larger than the Power behind you, the purpose in living falls right out from underneath of you.

       - Ann Voskamp @  a holy experience

Well, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I am seeing the sun rise, the crack in my shell grow larger, the trees bud, the grass green. I am rising out of the muck. Slowly. Surely. I'm not sure how, just that I am.

So was (and sometimes is) that my problem, that I lose focus on the Power behind me, and instead on the problems before me? They (still) sometimes seemed so large, so looming, so overwhelming. And I, incapable, unmotivated.

I will never have it all right, all done, tasks completed, messes cleaned, bills all paid, laundry all put away, parenting figured out. Because we keep on living. And messing. And learning. And changing.

My purpose for living never disappeared (though my thoughts on purpose for cleaning may have, lol), I always got out of bed, fed the kids/fed/dressed/vacuumed, but it was the love, the desire, the joy that was missing. Each new day brings new hope. These days, I seem to have more Spring in my step, more umph in my get up. Has winter ended? I hope so. At least for now. I need the break.